Don't Let Them Win

“You were asking for it!” Sadly this is a phrase you are going to hear. I know it seems crazy that someone would treat you so badly after being assaulted. I was shocked to say the least when I first heard it come out of someone’s mouth. But it does happen. Let’s take a moment to talk about what “You were asking for it.” means. Some very sexist people think that the way people dress determines whether they were “asking” for assault or not. People feel that if a girl is wearing a dress and heels she is asking for sex and if sex is forced apon her she has “no right” to complain. On the other hand if a girl is wearing sweatpants and baggy clothes she isn’t asking for it and it’s considered assault. This is 100% wrong. It DOES NOT matter what you were wearing. Assault is assault.

Tell someone, if you have been or currently are being assaulted/raped you need to tell someone. If you don’t have a good relationship with at least one of your parents tell a teacher, colleague, friend, and most importantly the Law. If you won’t tell the Law then tell someone you trust. My experience with the law was bad but that is no reason not to contact them! My situation was very bad and I’m still bitter about it. Sorry, I’m kinda out of it today, I’m going to talk about contacting the Law another time. Let’s just focus on telling one person. I know it’s scary and you might not want people finding out what happened to you. But don’t worry the people who really matter aren’t going to judge you. Telling someone is hard but keeping it a secret is harder. You don’t have to carry this burden alone. Take it from me, dealing with assault became so much easier once I told somebody.

What he did to me doesn’t define me. There are so many wonderful things about me too. For starters I love Marvel and the beach and hugs! I am SO much more than a victim of assault! Dealing with assault is hard, I’m not going to lie. You are going to go through hardships and you are going to want to give up sometimes. But I’m here to tell you DON’T give up. Don’t take those pills, don’t cut your wrists, don’t jump off that building. You have so much to live for, if you don’t think you have something to live for then just don’t let that person win. As soon as you try to end it, they win, it’s game over. Don’t give them that power, don’t give them the satisfaction of winning. They get power from your brokenness. Take it from me, after I was assaulted I wanted nothing more than to just slip away. But then I realized it was HIS fault I was like this and I sure as hell am not giving him the satisfaction of winning. I admit sometimes I let him win the battle but I’m not going to let him win ...

WARNING! CONTENT MIGHT BE SENSITIVE TO SOME VIEWERS! I’m going to share with you my story with being assaulted, if you are sensitive to this content please skip this post. Though I highly recommend you read it. It was a normal day. A good day even, HE was coming over and I absolutely could not wait to see him. I had everything ready. Games, popcorn, movies, the whole shebang! I just absolutely knew this was going to be the best day ever! And it was, until we got to the movie… We were watching a Superman movie. Just him, his brother, and I alone in my basement. At first everything was going just fine, we were all sitting there enjoying the movie. Then he asked the question… “Can I see it?” he asked. “No!” I said, horrified he’d even ask such a question. “Come on! Just a little peak!” he just pleaded leaning in closer to me. “NO!” I said firmly, trying to scoot away from him. He then grabbed my arm and yanked me towards him. “COME ON.” He whispered in my ear. He was getting more and mor...

I should probably start by telling you a little bit about myself. I am currently 15 years old and just trying to get through my freshman year. I’m a pretty normal teenage girl. I like things like makeup, Tom Holland, and boys! But there are other things that I like to think make me special. I love to read, paint, and write. Especially writing, I love to write. I feel like writing is a way I can express myself when verbal words fail me. My life is pretty normal, I’m an only child and I have two pets, My dog Susie (She is an 11 year old Boxer-Weimaraner mix) and my rabbit Stormy (He is a 3 year old Holland Lop). You could say my house is pretty quiet since I’m an only child but boy are you wrong! There is never a dull moment at our house! My parents and I have traveled a lot. I think I’ve been too 7 different countries (Counting America). But out of all the cool places I’ve traveled Vero Beach, Florida is my favorite! There is just something about the ocean that draws me towards it! ...

No… No is such a strong word. If you know how to say no, everything will be fine. This is what you are told since before you can walk. But nobody prepares you for what will happen if no isn't good enough. We put so much power and trust into those two letters. N and O. I wish I could tell you this is all a lie, that no does work every single time. Sometimes even if you scream and pray no somebody might pin you down and morph your NOs into yeses, your screams into silence. No is strong but rape and assault is stronger. Only a few people get raped or assaulted. Sadly, I am one of those few and if you are reading this you probably are too.