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It’s Ok

This is probably one of the hardest posts I’ll ever do but I’m going to do it to show everyone it’s ok.
I started seeing a therapist, I saw one before when I was first assaulted but I was too young to understand what I was feeling so I suppressed all the emotions. Now I am in a safe place where I can finally get them out. I want all of you to know it’s OK to seek help, it’s OK to see a therapist. It doesn’t make you weak, it doesn’t make you weird, and it most definitely doesn’t make you broken!
As soon as I started seeing my therapist she diagnosed me with PTSD and an anxiety disorder. Now I’m sure this confuses people because PTSD is usually associated with soldiers and God bless their souls for fighting for our country and I’m not saying I’ve been through anything as hard as they have but PTSD is way different in kids then it is in adults. My PTSD does not make a violent person at all. With my PTSD I get flashbacks some of these flashbacks can be pretty bad but mostly it’s just a sense of that fear I felt when I was pinned down on that couch being touched all over. I can’t control my flashbacks and I can’t stop them from happening right now but hopefully therapy can help with that. I’m also very sensitive to loud noises, that is another symptom I get and that comes from living in constant fear since I was assaulted. Now with my anxiety disorder I’m sure you are thinking all teenage girls are anxiety filled but for me it’s almost debilitating. I question my every decision, thought, and move. I’m constantly afraid people are going to reject me for who I am and I have anxiety attacks every day. An anxiety attack doesn’t always mean I’m on the floor in the fetal position. For me I get really quiet. You can’t tell on the outside I’m having an attack but on the inside I’m a mess. I get terrified to talk to even my closest friends in fear of rejection.
But PTSD and anxiety does not define me and I am NOT ashamed of going to a therapist. I actually encourage you to go to one. A therapist is a safe place where you can go and share your emotions without feeling judged. It’s also a place where you can get skills to deal with everyday life when you have something like PTSD or anxiety. I hope this helps some of you who are dealing with difficulties right now and I hope I straightened some things out with what therapists do.

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