Skip to main content

Coping Skills

I first want to start off by apologizing for not posting anything over the past couple of months. I decided to just enjoy my summer and take a break from my blog but now that school is starting again I’m back! 

I thought I could start off talking about coping methods! When I was first assaulted I didn’t know how to cope with it, I got angry and I lashed out hurting myself in the process. I wish I would’ve known the skills I know now! I’m going to share some of the techniques I’ve learned over the years! 

There are various techniques for different stages of dealing with the aftermath of assault. 


The first thing I felt was confusion, I couldn’t understand why this happened and how it happened to me. What really helped me during this time was telling myself yes this happened to me and what happened was horrible but things were going to be ok. I would tell myself this over and over again. 


Another stage is the guilt even though what happened is not my fault I still felt like I should have fought  back harder, said no louder, got away sooner. But it’s absolutely not your fault if you are assaulted or raped.  It is absolutely not your fault! Now what helped me with this was writing down my feelings. I just wrote everything that was upsetting me and hurting me and now this sounds weird but in a safe, controlled environment I burned the letters. I know this sounds crazy but burning it and giving your troubles up to God is really helpful. 


Another big stage I went through was anger, now this stage was hard for me to get out of. I really struggled with this one, I was constantly angry not just with the guy who assaulted me but with everyone. I couldn’t handle people and it absolutely consumed me but then one day about a week before Christmas my therapist gave me a present. A large black pool noodle, now the job I was assigned was to go outside with this pool noodle and beat a tree. You can scream and yell and cry while doing this. This is a good outlet for getting out all the rage in a safe environment. I used that pool noodle so much we had to throw it away. Now these methods may seem out there but it really helps! 


Now the one method I’m currently using is to help with the fear of being assaulted again. I call it my five senses trick. You take a deep breath and feel all your senses. You look around to see what’s around you, you inhale to see what you smell, you listen for sounds around you, you ground yourself and see what you feel under your feet, and if you can you see what you taste in your mouth. Now if you take the time to do this you find that you completely forgot about what is triggering you and you are calm and can cognitively think on how you can react to this trigger. 


I hope these tips will help you with your coping with assault, dealing with it is a constant battle and it will never go away completely but trust me things will get better and you will be ok! There is always the sun behind the rain.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Coping through College

  Hey guys, I know it’s been a while and I apologize for my absence. I decided to step down and take a break from my blog so I could take the time to focus on my mental health. Here is a little life update on my end. I’m currently a freshman in college working to get myself a degree in costume design. I’ve currently worked on two Broadway productions, Hamilton and Aladdin which were truly life changing experiences. I have a pet cat named Peaches whom I adore and I also have a pet gecko named Mango whom I equally love. Being a college student is definitely a challenge in itself but I want to take a second to talk about what it’s like for someone who has been sexually assaulted in the past. College comes with a lot of fun and exciting opportunities but it also comes with a lot of triggers. For me personally it’s hard to be on such a big campus, there are a lot of men here and I often find myself on edge. This is a normal feeling, being in that fight or flight response. There are a fe...
Post a Comment
Read more

Rape Culture

    "Not All Men"     This seems to be a common term these days, and I agree not all men are rapists or abusers but every women has either experienced sexual assault, violence, or harassment. It seems like every girl has been a witness to this form of violence. There isn't a girl out there who wasn't sat down at a too young of age and told about what not to do so they don't get sexualized and there is something deeply wrong with that. Lately I've been really into poetry and I wrote a poem that reflects on this topic.     Witness A crime against a woman A man with no alibi The trial starts The truth will be found Some testify Some take a vow Wrong place  Wrong time They accuse the girl because of the skin he could see It does not matter the amount of skin she reveals The pain he caused her will never disappear He claims there was no boundaries set He claims that she said yes The jury looks at her with hateful eyes They are all men too No surprise  ...
Post a Comment
Read more

My Assault Story

WARNING! CONTENT MIGHT BE SENSITIVE TO SOME VIEWERS! I’m going to share with you my story with being assaulted, if you are sensitive to this content please skip this post. Though I highly recommend you read it. It was a normal day. A good day even, HE was coming over and I absolutely could not wait to see him. I had everything ready. Games, popcorn, movies, the whole shebang! I just absolutely knew this was going to be the best day ever! And it was, until we got to the movie… We were watching a Superman movie. Just him, his brother, and I alone in my basement. At first everything was going just fine, we were all sitting there enjoying the movie. Then he asked the question… “Can I see it?” he asked. “No!” I said, horrified he’d even ask such a question. “Come on! Just a little peak!” he just pleaded leaning in closer to me. “NO!” I said firmly, trying to scoot away from him. He then grabbed my arm and yanked me towards him. “COME ON.” He whispered in my ear. He was getting more and mor...
Post a Comment
Read more